Serious Damage
by varietyofwords
Summary: Linstead. Oneshot. Based on Jay's comment in 3x04 that Erin can do some serious damage in a bathroom. "I don't know who that would punish more – me or you? But, at least, you'll stop doing serious damage to my bathroom."


**Author's Note:** This is set sometime after "we don't work together anymore" but before Jay and Erin decided to cool it. It's also inspired by their conversation in 3x04 and the very indignant way Erin punched Jay after he said, "Well, you can do some serious damage in a bathroom".

* * *

The sweat trickling down his forehead is wiped away with a quick swipe of his right forearm; the black hoodie mopping up both the droplets of sweat on his forehead and those that have managed to seep through his black, muscle t-shirt. He fumbles with the keys in his left hand twirling the car key, desk key, and locker key around the keyring until he finds the bronze-colored key to the front door of his apartment as he jogs the last half mile down the sidewalk towards his apartment building. Past the small, dirty snowbanks and the litter left behind when they melt; past the coffee shop on the corner and her car still parked out front.

The sight lifts the corners of his mouth into a smile because when he left this morning, when he slipped out of bed and slipped on his running shoes, he half-expected to return to find his apartment empty. They still haven't defined whatever the last few weeks has been, and while sometimes they spend the whole of Friday night until Sunday morning together, other times she'll leave him with a kiss on the lips and an empty beer bottle on the counter.

Jay slows his jog to a brisk walk as he nears his apartment building, pauses at the steps leading up to the front door of the building to stretch out his calf muscles as he waits for his breathing to slow. Every exhale of breath is visible in the cold air; every trickle of perspiration is like an ice cube on his face it chills in the ambient temperature. And he swipes the sleeve of his sweatshirt against his forehead one more time as he hurries up the steps impatient to get back to her, as he yanks open the front door of his building and steps inside.

Erin had been so sleepy this morning when Jay ran his fingertips along the bare skin of her right arm and asked if she wanted to join him on his morning run. Had pressed her face into the pillow mumbling something about it being too early to do something she hates on her day off; had indignantly rolled away from him in response to the way Jay chuckled in her ear as he teased her about being too worn out from last night because she failed to stop and rehydrate.

Neither had he, really. A good half of his drink had ended up spilled across the countertops of his kitchen when she had peppered impatient kisses against his neck, when Jay decided to lift her up and carry her back to the bedroom rather than continue lifting the beer bottle to his lips. Erin had been the one to chuckle in his ear then, and he smiles at the memory of that deep, throaty laugh becoming a giggle when he nipped at the skin of her neck as he twists the key to unlock the front door of his apartment.

The northward position of his apartment coupled with the taller, brick building next door means little morning sunlight trickles in through the windows of his living room, and Jay nearly stumbles over the boots left in a pile in the middle of the foyer as he steps into the apartment. He had somehow – whether by a difference in light or a newly ingrained habit – managed to avoid them on his way out this morning, but now he mutters a curse as his stumble sends one boot skittering into the couch with a thud and the door slamming shut behind him with a bang.

Warily, he trudges towards into the living room glancing to his left towards the open doorframe of his bedroom. She's still asleep – or, at least appears to be – and the sight of lying diagonally across the bed with her bare feet sticking out from under the covers brings a smile to his face. And that smile fails to disappear even as he picks up her shoes and neatly lines them up next to his beside the door for the upteempth time, as he slowly undoes the laces of his sneakers and returns them to their designated spot in the lineup.

Jay stops along his way into the bedroom to pick up her jacket and drape it over the couch, to gather up the jeans and shirts that had been shed in the dizzying frenzy of last night. He places hers on the dresser, drops his in the open laundry hamper just to the right of the hamper, and then that smile deepens as he crosses the room to crouch down next to the bed beside her.

Dirty blonde hair is fanned across the pillow and draped across her face, and he slowly reaches out intent of sweeping it out of the way when fingers curl around his wrist. He blinks once, twice in surprise, and the smile on his face falls into a frown when he realizes she got the drop on him. Returns at the sound of her gravelly voice as she tells him to stop disrupting her sleep.

"No breakfast? Eggs Benedict, waffles, coffee?" Jay questions, and his smile widens when she sleepily opens her eyes. Erin blinks at him slowly digesting his words, but the grumble of her stomach and Jay's accompanying laugh have the final word in this conversation. "I'm gonna shower and then we can go, okay?"

"'Kay," Erin mumbles as she presses her face back into the pillow, and the rest of whatever she says becomes garbled by the fabric of the brown sheets. Her grip on his wrist slackens , releases so she can slip her hand back under the pillow and he can head into the bathroom.

Jay steps around the pillows and blankets haphazardly tossed about the room and, instead of picking them up and returning them to the bed,he works on peeling off his hoodie. Drops it and his muscle t-shirt and then, finally, his socks into the hamper before padding towards the bathroom and pushing open the door.

The smile on Jay's face falls as he steps into the bathroom, as he glances back over his shoulder to glance at Erin still lying in bed. She had slipped out his arms sometime after two a.m., but he hadn't realized then that her words about needed to clean up actually meant she needed to destroy his bathroom.

The shower curtain was left hanging outside the lip of the tub so a small puddle of water still stands below nearly six hours later. The towel she used was left in a crumpled pile on the floor so it's still damp when Jay picks it up and returns it to the hook mounted on the back of the bathroom door. There's the toothpaste left uncapped all night, the toothbrush that wasn't returned to the cup on the counter of the bathroom sink, and the hairs far too long to be his curling around the drain from a half-hearted attempt to wash them away.

With a sigh, Jay rubs his fingers against his forehead before setting to work cleaning up the mess. Returns the toothbrush to its cup and the toothpaste to the medicine cabinet; wipes down the sink and mops up the puddle on the floor with one of the towels neatly hanging on the towel rack above the toilet. Jay creates his own pile on the floor with the now dirtied towel, his shorts, and his boxer briefs after he's done cleaning up the bathroom, after he's returned the shower curtain to its rightful place and allowed the water to run until it reaches a temperature that nearly scalds him when he steps into the shower.

Jay takes a couple of minutes to stand with his face facing the spray and allow the steady spray of water to beat down on his muscles – a cheap, deep tissue massage after a long morning run – before he returns the shampoo bottle to the white wire rack hanging from the showerhead and the bar of soap to the soap dish built into the tiled wall. Before he feels a blast of cold air as the shower curtain is pushed aside; before he turns his head to see her stepping into the shower with a smirk on her lips.

Erin's eyes lazily sweep down his body from his chest to his abs down to his thighs and his feet; the smirk on her lips deepening as she proceeds to take a step towards him. He expects her to reach out and touch him, and Jay smiles down at her as she goes toe to toe with him. The steady stream of hot water beats down on his back whilst the steam from the hot water billows up around them, and she reaches up to run her fingertips across his chest as she steps to her left.

Jay turns into her touch, twists around despite the tight space as his eyes follow every movement of her body, every part of her lips as she hums in approval. He's so focused on the touch of her skin against his that he misses the mischievous glint in her eyes until it's too late. Until she's the one standing under the warm spray of the water and he's the one standing out in the cold.

"Erin," he flatly says when the dawning realization of what she's done becomes evident on his face, and Erin's gravelly laugh in reply as she says his name back to him all but confirms that this switcheroo was her plan from the moment she stepped into the shower. Her laugh becomes a shriek when gets the jump on her, when his hands reach out snagging her waist and pulling her flush against him. "Thought you showered last night?"

"You really gonna complain about a naked girl in your shower, Halstead?" Erin questions with wide eyes and a teasing smirk on her lips. Her eyes flutter close when Jay backs them both up so they stand under the spray of the water, and the smirk disappears when he presses his lips against hers. A hungry, open mouthed kiss that steals the breath from her lungs and leaves Erin eagerly following after him for more when he breaks it.

Her eyes shimmer with excited anticipation when his right hand leaves her waist sliding up the naked contour of her body to grip her chin in the V formed by his index finger and his thumb, and this time it's Jay who smirks at her when he dips his head as though he's finally going to kiss her again.

"I will when they make a mess in my bathroom," Jay ghosts against her lips chuckling at Erin's gasp of indignation before swallowing up her protestations that she did nothing of the sort with another kiss. His tongue swipes against hers as his fingers trail down her neck tracing against her collarbone and the goosebumps that quickly appear despite the heat of the water and the feeling of his touch.

Long fingers slip down to her breast to cup the underside so the pad of his thumb can slide back and forth over her pink nipple until it pebbles and peaks, until she gasps against his lips and pushes her hips forward against his. The fingers currently threading through his hair dig into his scalp in silent encouragement for him to continue whilst the fingers of her left hand slide against his abs, curl around his waist so she can pull him closer still.

Her stomach contracts in anticipation as his right hand leaves her hip, as his left thumb continues to teasingly glide back and forth over her nipple. A moan escapes from her parted lips when his lips leave her, when he proceeds to teasingly nip against the tender skin of her neck, and she tips her head backwards so the spray of water cascades over her face rather than down her back. The hotness against the skin of her face nothing in comparison to fire being left in the wake of his touch as Jay draws his fingers across her ribs and over her stomach to rest between her parted legs.

Erin's hips tilt forward again as she gasps, as she digs in her fingers into his scalp in an effort to urge him to do more than just rest his fingers there. His throaty chuckle reverberates against her neck, and then his lips return to hers in a consolation prize as his fingers drift away. Trail back across her hipbone and then down the outer side of her leg; curl around her thigh and effortly lift her up into his arms.

Erin gasps again – this time, against his parted lips – as he moves them both forward so the water is beating down his back whilst hers is pressed up against the cold tile. And she shivers once, twice at the sensation of the chill running down her back and him semi-hard and brushing against her thigh. Her legs part wider – one foot on the bottom of the tub and the other on the rim – and her lips part wider still in another gasp as his fingers return.

Slide up the inside of her thigh and then dance across every fold. Brush against the soft, damp curls and then slip between. One questing fingertip that traces and caresses and slips through growing dampness. And Jay teases her in the same rhythm that his lips and his tongue and his thumb against her breast employ – slow and deliberate. Focused and absolutely attuned to every gasp, every moan, and every shift in her posture.

Her fingers dig into the muscle just above his hipbone in an attempt to pull him closer still, but it only serves to shift him away from her as he breaks the kiss. Her eyes fly open narrowing into a glare that softens when he dips his head with a smirk on his lips and runs his tongue over the sensitive skin of her throat to that spot at its base where her pulse races just below the surface of her skin collecting beaded droplets of cooling water along the way.

Jay steps back further into the spray of water from the shower forcing her hands to fall from his head and his hip and releasing his own hold on her breast. Yet his other hand still traces the wet flesh between her thighs as he trails his lips from the slope of her neck to the the upper swell of her breast, and Erin's left hand flies outward to press against the tiled wall when his tongue swirls around her nipple at the same time that his right finger slips and curls inside her.

"Jay," she whimpers as presses the palm of her hand against the tile, as she flexes forward in an attempt to make him take more and touch more. His reply is a whisper of her name – barely audible over the sound of the falling water – against the taunt plane of her belly as his lips move further sound, as he sinks down to his knees pressing them against the wet bottom of the porcelain tub.

Impatient, her back arches against the tiled wall towards him, and Erin can practically feel his lips breakout in a smirk against the skin of her upper thigh. His finger curls again as his thumb slides between her folds, and his lips press – tongue swirling after every nip of his teeth – against the fleshy part of her right thigh. Four nips, four swipes of his tongue against her skin as he gathers up the water droplets before suddenly and without warning his fingers and his lips are gone from her. Just long enough for Erin's eyes to fly open, for her mouth to part with a demanding whimper.

Her eyes flutter close when she feels the brush of his scruff followed by the hot sweep of his tongue between her thighs; her whimper becomes a gasp as her toes curl against the wet floor over the light abrasion of his mouth against her. The fingers that had been inside her, had slipped alongside her now curl around her waist holding her still against the tile as she jerks against him.

His own eyes open sweeping upward to watch her as his tongue laves against her clit, as it slides down the length of her through the wetness wholly produced by her. Jay's tongue disappears into his mouth for a moment to savor the taste, to allow his lips to break out into another smirk against her as her head lolls back against the tiled wall one more time. Her lips part, her hips buck, and her right hand moves to thread through his hair, to encourage him onward.

Not that he needs the encouragement given the taste in his mouth, the heat in his gaze, and he returns his mouth to her. Uses his left hand to push her right leg aside, to grip the fleshy part of her thigh as his tongue skillfully probes and then slips inside her. Jay curls it once, twice and then again until the rush of heat through her body in response causes her toes to curl against the tub once more and forces her right hand to fall from his hair in a blind search for more support.

Erin's hand slips and slides against the wet tiles until her fingers brush against the wire basket hanging from the shower head, and her fingers curl around the basket just as Jay's tongue curls inside her clinging tighter and tighter as the intensity of the sensations of him against her becomes too much. Her toes curl, her eyes flutter, her hips jerk forward, and her hand yanks against the basket.

Everything seems to move in slow motion then. Her throaty gasp is met with the hollow sound of half-filled, plastic shampoo bottles hitting the tub and the sickening thud of metal against his skull. The removal of his tongue and his lips and his hands from her are accompanied by his howl of pain and her slightly fearful gasp as her feet slip against the wet floor, as she proceeds to slide down against the tile.

She manages to catch herself before she falls completely, before she collapses in a heap next to him, but the whole moment leaves her slightly stunned and she has to blink once, twice before things begin to register. Before she realizes why the water is pouring forth in a single, steady stream; before she realizes why Jay is sitting with his ass against the bottom of the tub and his hand pressed against his head.

On still shaky legs, Erin releases her grip on the basket still clutched in her hand – its hook perfectly shaped to fit around the shower still unbroken – dropping it on to the floor of the tub alongside the shampoo bottle. With a quick twist of her hand, she turns the faucet to the right shutting off the flow of water and stopping the steady blast from continuing its assault on Jay.

"Hey," she says as she bends down, as she curls her hand around Jay's wrist and begins to tug his hand away from his face. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Jay replies sweeping his gaze up to look at her. Thankfully, the heavy, metal shower head didn't break the skin, but he can tell by the look on her face and the searing pain that accompanies the tender way she touches his forehead that he's going to have one massive knot there for a while.

Erin offers him a hand to help him up, which Jay gratefully takes as he moves to stand, and both their eyes sweep around the shower to survey the damage – the shampoo bottle and basket on the bottom of the tub, the silver pipe jutting out of the wall without the shower head attached. Erin is the one who locates the shower head bending down to pick it up and holding it out to him with a slight shrug of her shoulders. Jay takes it from her, peers at the connector as he twists it around in his hand, and then sweeps his gaze from it to the pipe and back to her.

"I think I'm gonna have to call my super," Jay informs her as Erin crosses her arms over her chest, and her eyes grow wide in response as she flicks her gaze up to his face.

"What?"

"Yeah," Jay replies glancing back down at the showerhead in his hand. "You pretty much destroyed my bathroom. There's no way I can–"

His words turn into a sputter of laughter because he's a horrible liar, and Erin's hand curls into a fist immediately flying out to sock him in the arm in response. Jay's smile falters as he pretends to be wounded by her punch and returns as a smirk when his eyes suggestively slide up and down her body.

"That good, huh?"

"Shut up," Erin replies biting her lip and trying not to smile. Her voice cracks as laughter bubbles forth, as she repeats her instructions for him to be quiet once again. And Jay laughs with her, gives Erin that ridiculously wide and boyish grin that never fails to make her smile.

"Go get dressed," Jay instructs her with a nod of his head towards the bathroom door. "I'll clean up here and then we'll see about getting you fed. You know, since all this destruction probably wore you out and I already ate."

"Stop," she replies with a roll of her eyes as she pulls open the shower curtain and proceeds to step out into the steamy bathroom. He appreciatively watches her backside, watches the bounce of her breasts as she reaches for the one remaining dry towel hanging up in the bathroom before turning his attention to the now broken shower.

Thankfully, the shower head screws right back into place, and the shampoo bottle is slipped back into the basket, which Jay places on the side of the tub instead of returning to its hanging position. He fiddles with the faucet a couple of times checking to make sure the water pressure doesn't eject the shower head once more. If the chunk of metal to the head hadn't sobered him up, the sudden blasts of cold water would have, and Jay is practically shaking from the cold as he steps out of the shower and wraps Erin's damp, used towel around his waist.

He returns to his bedroom with his shorts, boxer briefs, and hand towel in his arms, which he quickly drops into the hamper, and the damp towel slung low on his waist. Erin's clothes have been swiped from his dresser – her second used towel left in a wet puddle on his bedroom floor – and Jay listens to the sounds of her busying herself in the kitchen – the run of the water as she fills the coffee pot, the slam of the kitchen cabinets as she searches for the coffee – as he opens and shuts his dresser drawers. As he pulls on a pair of black socks, gray boxer briefs, his dark washed jeans, and a long-sleeved blue shirt; as he vigorously towel dries his hair before returning both towels to the hooks on the back of the bathroom drawer.

"So," Jay trails off as he pads into the kitchen. Erin's back is facing towards him – her wet hair leaving a dark, wet stain along the back of the green shirt she wore to his place last night – but she turns to face him at the sound of his voice. Presses her back against the countertop and offers him one of the mugs of coffee in her hands.

"So," she echoes back to him sweeping her eyes upward to stare at him over the mug that she lifts to her lips. She rolls her back and then her hip against the counter when he moves over towards her, when he presses his side against the countertop and stares down at her.

"Does this mean I need to up my insurance?" Jay asks before leaning forward with a teasing smile on his lips as he drops his voice to a lower octave. "Because if Hurricane Erin's going to make a habit of destroying my bathroom, then–"

His voice trails off as she frowns, as she places the coffee mug beside the beer bottle from last night that still hasn't been cleaned up, as she bits her lip and advances towards him. Her hand slides up the plane of his chest, and Jay has to carefully juggle the coffee mug in his hand in order to avoid spilling as she presses herself against his chest and her lips against his neck. One kiss is followed by three more, by the nip of her teeth against the lob of his ear, and then her hot breath curls around his ear as her hand slips downward to tease the skin of his taut stomach just above the button of his jeans.

"Mention this again, Halstead, and there will be never again be a naked Erin in your shower," she sharply informs him with a smirk against his cheek and the rake of her nails against his abs. His sharp intake of breath is her reward as she steps backwards, as she reaches for her abandoned coffee mug and brings it back to her lips once more.

"Hmm, never again, huh?" Jay murmurs as he takes a sip of coffee. The hot liquid burns down his throat, although the pain is nothing in comparison to the throbbing in his head from where metal connected with his skull, as he pretends to mull his words over. "I don't know who that would punish more – me or you? But, at least, you'll stop doing serious damage to my bathroom."

The replacement of his smirk with that wide, boyish grin to his face causes her resolve to falter, causes a throaty chuckle to burst forth as she tells him to hush one more time. And Jay basks in the beauty of her laugh for a moment before he steals a kiss, before her hand slides to his chest and his hand slides to cup her chin between his thumb and his forefinger to hold her gaze as he offers to take her out to breakfast before she can do any more damage to his home.


End file.
